Christmas 2011 and Ending the Year...

Christmas Day was not the nightmare that I envisioned it to be.  Both J. and T. were thrilled with the presents that they received (even if there were a few missing that were on the wish list) and even The Man Thing gave a rare compliment – "You done good Santa.  You done good."

Santa always brings a few sweets and leaves them in their stockings – and scored double points with a huge bag of Smarties and a box of Sour Patch Kids included with some other treats and their traditional holiday socks.

J. has been asking us for the past four years for an XBox 360.  We thought of getting the PlayStation 3 instead – but since T. seemed to be content with the Wii and Wii games, we decided this was the year – finally.  This look on his face will be permanently ingrained in my memory.  He had no idea that this was even a possibility this year (he had become so accustomed to NOT receiving it that he just stopped looking forward to it) and the look of surprise and then delight on his face was just priceless.  It made the wait worthwhile.

T. has an obsession with all things Angry Birds.  Santa hunted high and low for the plush toys or keychain or a T-shirt or something that had anything to do with Angry Birds to no avail.  Being that they were such a hot commodity this year, those of us who did their shopping 48 hours before Christmas morning were pretty much just shit out of luck.  My friend found these Angry Birds stickers while we were walking around at Wal-Mart and I snatched them up.  Who knew that some wall decal stickers would put such excitement on T.'s little face Christmas morning?  His room is now devoid of all his WWE posters and there are Angry Birds plastered EVERYWHERE in his room LOL!

After all the gifts were opened, my children disappeared.  J. to his room to play Modern Warfare 3 on his new game system, under his comfy new comforter for his bed that Santa brought as well – and T. disappeared to his room to decorate it with Angry Birds and then to play with his new games on the Wii.

I made a lovely vegetable dip and served that with some Wheat Thins while my family and guests were waiting for dinner to finish, along with some Hickory Farms summer sausage and cheeses.  Dinner consisted of a baked honey-glazed ham, homemade macaroni and cheese (which was absolutely delicious considering it was the first time I had ever made it – with a little help from my Facebook friends lol), scalloped potatoes, stuffing, collard greens, corn, crescent rolls, and gravy.

By the time everyone had finished dinner and the dishwasher was loaded with round one of the dirty dishes, I was exhausted.  I sat down on the couch to talk with my guests and spend some time with the family...and promptly fell asleep!  Talk about embarrassing!  They understood though and just let me catch a quick nap for about an hour!!!

So, as I said, Christmas Day did not turn out to be the nightmare I had built it up in my head to be; however, I swear upon all that is holy and just that I will not be caught at the last minute again in 2012 rushing around trying to find things that they have asked for for Christmas.  It's layaway or bust this year baby!

Naturally, with Christmas 2011 finished, it is now time to turn our attention to the New Year and all that 2012 will hold for each of us.

It never ceases to amaze me just how quickly the years go by any more. When I was a young girl, I couldn't wait for the years to go by so that I could finally be old enough to be out on my own, to start really living my life. If I only knew then what I know now, I would have cherished those carefree, responsibility-free years and enjoyed them as much as possible. I try to tell my children this constantly – to just enjoy being a child and stop trying to grow up so fast – but just as I did with my own parents – they roll their eyes at me and think to themselves, "Yeah right! What do YOU know?"

So, from me to all of you, I wish you a very happy, blessed, peaceful, prosperous, healthy 2012!

The Holiday Spirit

Do you have it?  Do you know what it is?  I think that it is lost on quite a few people in this day and age.  I know I lost it these past two weeks.  I've been dreading tomorrow like the plague.  I forgot the Reason for the Season, and fell into the commercialization trap.

Buy this, buy that, get them this, get them that.  WTF does any of that have to do with the real reason of Christmas?  Not a damn thing – that's what. 

I grew up knowing that Christmas was the celebration of the birth of Jesus.  I went to midnight service on Christmas Eve with my family every year till I moved out.  I sang Christmas carols as well as Christmas hymns all month long.  I went out of my way to be kind and courteous and giving to those less fortunate than me, and I always challenged myself to think of something new to do each year to give something back to those less fortunate – be it donating my gently used clothing or toys to a shelter, helping someone who needed an extra set of hands – I knew the season was about giving – of yourself, of your heart, of your love.

I failed my children in this respect.  We do not go to Christmas Eve services.  I do not read the Christmas story from the bible to them.  I do not ask them each year what they would like to do to help someone less fortunate than them during the holiday season.  They have never sung a Christmas hymn, or held a candle during Christmas Eve service.  They know the story of the birth of Jesus – but I don't think that comes to their mind first and foremost when you mention Christmas.  Their first thought is "what are we going to get?"

I stressed myself out so much yesterday, that I seriously thought I would have a nervous breakdown.  I couldn't find a store that had the presents they'd requested in stock.  None of them locally had the Paper Jamz guitars that T. and J. wanted, or the Cabella's Big Game Hunter 2012 w/gun for the Wii, the Sports Resort w/Motion Sensor for the Wii, or WWE 2012 for the Wii that J. asked for, nor could I find the acoustic guitar in stock that J. wanted, or the special pencils I wanted to get J. to go with his sketch pad.  I could have gone to other stores and possibly found them – but since I don't drive and need to rely on a dear friend or TMT to take me where I need to go – my travels were limited to a few select stores.  So I shopped with my dear friend and she helped me pick out items that she knew T. and J. would like as well...and consistently told me to stop stressing.  It finally started to sink in, and I could feel the muscles in my neck starting to relax – and hurt.

I went to bed last night exhausted with a horrid tension headache, and woke up this morning feeling as though I'd been beaten with a baseball bat.  T. got a video message from Santa this afternoon (ahem) that told him Santa wasn't sure if he would make it on the nice list this year because he couldn't keep his room neat and tidy like mom and dad have asked him to all year long.  While Santa did say that he still had time to change things around and get on the nice list....T. didn't hear any of that.  He was busy collapsing in a pile of tears.  While it had the desired effect (his room is so clean you could eat off the floor now), I traumatized my son by having him think Santa might not bring him anything.  Talk about feeling like a total bitch.

This is not what Christmas is about.

I made myself a promise that I would write about all of this so that next year I would be reminded of the hell that I put myself through, and that I would do whatever was necessary to ensure that my children (and I) remembered the true meaning of Christmas, and not fall prey to the commercialization of the season and the gimme-gimme-gimme mentality.  So if any of you see me slipping next year and forgetting – smack me upside the head and remind me, okay?

I'm off to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" with my children and try to salvage (and enjoy) what is left of the holiday season with them.

Feeling a Little Ms. Scrooge-ish

To many times I find myself feeling this way during the month of December.  I hate the commercialization of the Christmas holiday, I hate that the true meaning of Christmas is just lost on my children – and each year I vow that this is the year that is going to be different.  And every year is the same.  You want to know something?  IT SUCKS.

Here it is, just ten short days before the blessed event – my tree has not been put up, the only decorations that have made it out are the beloved pieces that belonged to my mother and my nana, and not a single Christmas gift has been purchased yet.  So much for my good intentions three months ago to go and put what the children wanted on layaway so that this would not happen but...as you can see...layaway just didn't happen for whatever reason.  I always kept saying, "I can go next week," and next week came and went and before I knew it – here we are.

I have a *general* idea of what I want to get the children for Christmas – but it all depends on what the financial flow looks like...and right at this moment it isn't looking all that sporty.  Not what I would like it to be – let's just leave it at that.  So that is contributing to my Ms. Scrooge mentality at the moment.

Not to mention that I've been dealing with the tongue hurting from being bitten during my seizures on the 4th and 5th, and then Monday (the 12th) my broken tooth in the upper left rear of my mouth started to seriously KILL ME.  By Tuesday afternoon, I couldn't take the pain any longer and was in tears constantly – absolutely nothing was helping me at all.  I hadn't been able to sleep but about 4 hours total between Sunday and Monday night – and I knew that I had to do something before the night was over with. 

I was able to get in touch with the Hanover Interfaith Free Dental Clinic (which is only open Tuesdays from 6pm to 9pm and the first Thursday of each month) but unbeknownst to me, the 13th was their last clinic date until January as they were going to be closed for the holidays.  The intake person I spoke with was not sure if they would be able to squeeze me in, but indicated that IF I had all of my paperwork AND met their income qualifications AND they had a cancellation, that they would fit me in.  I just recently had to pull all my paperwork together to get the children qualified for FAMIS so that was (thankfully) a no-brainer, so off I went.  Got there and completed my paperwork right away before they got too terribly busy, and thankfully there were two cancellations, so the dentist was able to fit me in.  When he took a look at my poor mouth, he had his assistant and the director come lay their hands on me and all three of them prayed for me.  It took quite a few shots of medication to numb the area that needed to be worked on, but we eventually got it to where it wasn't *too* painful and the tugging began.  There wasn't much he could do when he had to pull a certain way to keep it from breaking – the nerve was exposed and the forceps were going to hit it – and we just had to hang tight for a minute until he could loosen it.  That was the worst of it – and within a matter of minutes the tooth was out and even with the huge hole in my jaw – it already felt 90% better.

I have NEVER had a dentist give me numbing medication without it hurting me to the point where I was sitting in the chair, fighting back the screams, with tears streaming down my face.  Out of the seven (yes 7!) shots of numbing medication I had to have – there was only one that seriously caused me some pain – and that was the first one that had to go into the roof of my mouth to numb that area.  The other six literally felt like I was being pinched and were over as quickly as they started.  When I got out of that chair and he showed me the tooth that was causing me such pain – I hugged that man until I think he started to turn blue.  In addition to being so supportive, caring, and understanding – he also gave me six 800mg Motrin tablets to take once I got home since I had explained I would not be able to purchase any pain medication for myself until Wednesday.

Thankfully, I now have an appointment to get the remainder of them removed with the same dentist, and I am on the denture program list.  If nothing else good came from 2011 – this was the best gift I could possibly receive.

However, with every good side of the coin – there is always a flip side, a not-so-good side.  I have noticed that (with matters regarding my health at least) it takes me longer to "bounce back" and be my usual self again.  So I am having to take things easy, go slow, and try to not do more than I am physically capable of. 

In that respect, The Man Thing has been truly wonderful – supportive, caring, chiding me when he feels that I am trying to do too much, too fast.  He's cooked meals, done laundry, and pretty much left me be this week to just take my medications and sleep as I need to and regain my strength and wits about me once again.  I couldn't ask for a sweeter person to call my own.  THAT has been all the Christmas present that I want from him.

Today, however, my living room was rearranged and our little tree is now set up on the table awaiting the children to come home from school to decorate it...and then we will be off to the apartment complex's office for the resident Christmas party so the children can get some treats and I can find out how the Christmas party was last night for the employees!  Unfortunately, by the time my man got home, I was in the midst of getting the children ready for bed...and then he got called out on an emergency call...and by the time he got home from that it was after 1:00 a.m. and I was already sound asleep.

"It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas" is playing on the radio and now that I've written this – I do believe I'm feeling a bit better and not as Ms. Scrooge-ish as I was at the beginning of the post!

Happy Holidays to You and Yours!

Slacking on Christmas

I normally am *not* the proverbial slacker when it comes to Christmas – well, at least not a slacker in the decorations department!  The weekend after Thanksgiving has always been the start of the Christmas season for my family for as long as I can remember.  My mom would begin pulling out all of the Christmas decorations and tree trimming paraphernalia the weekend after Thanksgiving and by December 1^st our home was always decked out in its holiday finery and would remain so until after New Year’s Day.  Usually the day that we children returned to school is the day she would take everything back down and pack it away – and we would return home from school to a house that had been returned to normal once again and the holiday season was then “officially” over and done with.

I try to keep that tradition for my own family.  Unfortunately, I actually am being a slacker this year.  Last year when I packed away the little ornaments that I had left (those which were not broken or light strands that actually still worked) I made a mental note that I needed to get some additional decorations for the tree this year and some lights – and I was NOT going to settle for whatever was on sale.  I want my tree decorated in silver and gold.  I have always wanted to have a themed tree – and I was bound and determined that THIS was going to be the year that I got my themed tree.

Guess again.

I should know better than to “plan” for anything – especially something like having a themed tree and specialized ornaments and lights and wanting a beautiful wreath to hang on my front door and lights to put in my windows to guide the wise men on their way – silly me forgot that every time I “plan” for something to happen a certain way it never happens the way that I want it to!  I have to be completely and totally spontaneous in order for anything to happen the way that I want for it to happen.

Having my seizures on the 4^th and 5^th didn’t help matters either.  While I did get my Christmas knick-knacks set up the weekend after Thanksgiving – the tree is still in the box in the closet (which was another “not going to happen this year” event as well – I wanted a REAL tree this year and not that fake crap!) and I still haven’t had the chance to purchase additional lights and ornaments.  I did promise the boys though that we would put the tree up tonight and what little decorations we have for it – so I’ll be taking stock of what I need, what I want – and then keeping an eye on the after Christmas sales so that I can go and put the items that I want on layaway so when next year rolls around – I will be ready this time!  Considering I only have roughly another 2 weeks of unemployment to claim before that ends – I need to make the most of it while I can!

What about you?  Have you gotten all of your decorations up yet, or are you in slacker mode right along with me?  When is your family’s traditional kick off to the holiday season? 

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